It's half past one and I'm sitting at my computer silently panicking. As it gets closer to two my anxiety climbs higher and higher and I feel like I want to run from the room. My chest starts to feel tight and I feel like the only way to relieve the pressure is to scream.
Hey there demons. It's me, ya boy (if you understand that reference, let's be friends).
You're probably wondering what dangerous thing I was doing. Well, I was waiting for a Skype call in which I was having a chat with the coordinator of the programme I'm planning on doing (I told the parentals and they didn't take it well). It was the very first time I used Skype which was exciting but also stressful as I wondered whether or not I gave the right address and if she would hear me just talking towards my computer with no microphone. And of course the other factors of saying the right things etc. One of the things I really stress about is the whole questions thing. They ask you if you've got any questions and for me, I'm so worked up I can't think of anything and feel kind of stupid saying no.
It's not long into it where I start to relax a bit, there's a lot of listening which I am good at. I also get this weird out of body realisation that I'm speaking to someone via my computer, technology am I right.
When it ends I realise it wasn't as bad as I feared. I stumbled over my words one or two times but otherwise, it was fine. Afterwards, I read a bit of The Anxiety Solution and get to a part which says how you should just ride the wave of anxiety rather than stop it. Wish I had got to that part before the meeting but oh well.
This is a completely random post but I just thought it was a different idea. Trying to be more creative with the blog this year.
Ashley xx
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